1. Barry, what do you think of hoodies? (From iMac Hunt)

I don't care for them much.  I do favour headwear though.  I often get my Margaret to wear a burqua.  She is a hideous woman and I find, seeing just her eyes is preferable.  Or a bag.  And a bag for my head in case her's comes off.  But hoodies no.  If God had meant us to wear muggers clothes he would have given us a flick knife instead of an index finger.

2. Have you ever been dogging? (From Itsalook)

I'm not a fool. You'd expect me to say something like "oh yes, I like to get my little chihauhau out in the park at least two or three times a week." However, I can assure you that  I do know what dogging (and pyking) is and I can honestly say that pressing my grey wrinkly cobblers up against a windscreen while some poor cow is forced to act out some balding husband's warped idea of eroticism in Lidl's car park is not my idea of a great night out.  I prefer a night in with my grandson's karaoke.  Or Babecast.

3. Have you watched the latest series of the Catherine Tate Show? (From iMac Hunt)

Yes.  She is excellent.  So similar to my Margaret in many ways.  Don't like the mucky language though.

4. Have you heard Larry on LBC? .... if so, what did you think of his act? (From broadwayrock)

The man is a tit.

5. Barry, you have always commented on radio that you dont approve of "Mucky Language", yet on a recent television broadcast you turned the air blue with VERY sweary words. Has this new found fame turned you into some kind of fame hungry swear-monster? (From marcusdarkus)

I regret the use of blue language and can only apologise.  The fact is I was trying to get in with the trendy Oxbridge audience on BBC4.  They seem to think it is clever to be lazy and use filthy words when they have so many long words to draw from ...like "differentiated" or "onomatapeia" or that other Welsh one which is the name of a town or something.  I am not going to use dirty smuttiness again unless I, say drop a heavy hammer on my toe during a broadcast or shit myself by accident.  The chances of either of those things happening are remote, though I suppose with my bowels as they are there is every chance that a wrought iron hammering utensil on my pinky could lead to the expelling of faeces and result in me saying f**** or bollocks.  Or shit.   Let's hope not.  As for being a fame hungry monster, I am not one, though since I hit the big time, Margaret is a bit like that.  Well, she's a monster anyway.

6. Barry, have you ever been up North and would you ever consider moving there? (From Bri)

Move there.  No.  I don't think so. Mind you, I like the North and the North people. I met a man in the army who was from The North who was very nice.  I went to The North in 1967 when my David wanted to buy a car off someone and Margaret has been twice to The North so we feel that we have done our bit to foster good relations with those less fortunate than ourselves.  I saw a programme that featured the North recently and I have been counting my blessings ever since.  That sort of thing really makes you think, doesn't it.  Our prayers are with them.

7. Would you ever go back to Disney World in Florida?

I was disgusted by what I saw there.  Mickey Mouse without his head on, enjoying a cigarette.  I would never go again.  I understand Mr Walt Disney has been cyogenically preserved in ice or vinegar or something. When his pickled head is eventually coaxed back to life, I will be one of his first visitors on the ward - demanding my effing money back for my visit to Disney World!

8. What farm did you stay on during your holiday? I want to go there.

The organic farm business is a rip off.  Those caring organic farmers will stand around in tie dyed organic smocks with a blade of non GM straw in their Guardian reading gobs crapping on about free range this and soil association that, while a few yards away  some poor chicken is having it's innards ripped out in an ethical way by some local Saturday boy who just wants a few pence to go and get tiddly on drugs.  I can't mention the farm due to legal reasons - I don't want you  taking the law into your own hands.  Still, I suppose if the farmer and his wife were killed swiftly using ethical means...

9. What made you become a vegetarian?

See above.

10. What would happen if Steven Murdoch turned up at your door?